It’s a night. It’s been a week.
So, why not throw out an unedited look at my thoughts tonight.
As I sit here with my grandchildren at the roller skating rink, I have a million thoughts on my mind. (I’m stuck sitting due to an injury from skating, so here I sit, alone in a corner, pouting that I can’t skate, too!)
Prayers for hope, healing, wellness, and ultimately, desire for change and sobriety are flowing from my heart out to the universe- my God’s universe!
Our Creator has been a provider of the impossible from the beginning, right? His power was always moving in mighty ways- the Bible tells us these miraculous stories, but I can testify, my life alone displays who He is- all knowing, all powerful and mighty.
But he chose to have no influence over the act of ‘free-will’ – the ability to choose. Why? It seems that would solve so much.
But He couldn’t.
If he forced us into obedience, desire, loving Him, or belief- then the opportunity to genuinely ‘choose’ to love and follow Him is removed. His ultimate goal was eternal fellowship and relationship. But forced love is never TRUE LOVE, and God knew voluntary love is the only path to true love.
I wonder how he manages the pain of watching his children walk away, doubt, disobey, and ignore Him. Because as a parent, I struggle with this reality! How does it feel to watch destruction, hate, chaos, and hopelessness become the choice for those he loves?
He calls, many ignore.
He cries out, they laugh.
He instructs, they deconstruct.
He gave His Son. They reject Jesus.
He provides every answer and way.
However, this world wanders aimlessly searching for ‘something’ – when everything is right here!
We live in despair and desperation to the point of severe anguish and deep depression. Yet, He is joy, encouragement, happiness, and peace.
People rely on themselves for what only God provides, and it shows. We have entire courses to teach people how to be all about themselves! Self love sounds sufficient and enough.
I’ve seen ‘self love’ internally destroy a person. But I’ve never seen love for God do anything but bring peace (that often can’t be understood) to the heart and mind of a believer.
It baffles me how confused and backwards humans choose to be. Yet, it’s gone on from the beginning. Our Father wasn’t enough then, as Eve said ‘give me more’, and for those who are unwilling to surrender and submit, He isn’t enough now.
The tragedy is being witness to the result of the decisions others make. Cringing, I watch their defiance catch up, one choice at a time. As I watch their frustration at a failed method of living, all I can do is pray. They are on a highway to chaos filled with bumper to bumper traffic and pile-ups. I am cruising alongside, smoothly, on the train tracks of peace.
I ponder, why?
Alas, I get no answer. This is free will. We all take a turn at the intersection of wrong and right. For those who follow Christ, we know this is a daily challenge. We accept that with assurance that we never do this alone. That’s the secret- nothing is about self and everything is about our Savior. It’s a blessing I am thankful to hold.