Letting go was forfeiting my need to be some part of their savior.
The abuse left a stain on her tender heart, and her mind twisted from the games of an evil man. Worse, she felt dirty and unnecessary, like a garage rag that came in handy but was left lying around like trash.
We woke to crashing and movement of furniture. I quickly ran upstairs and listened at my daughters door. She was screaming, "Let me out of here!" With caution, I approached her door and began to turn the handle. It wasn't locked, I'm not even sure it has a lock. There was my daughter, on her knees, fighting the lockless handle, to escape her room.
I tried to be the strong warrior for all, in fact my words were still fierce and meaningful. Unfortunately, the auto pilot mechanism of helping others, never applied to me.
When anxiety tramples your night.
God's love will lead us to step aside. His parenting must come first.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw us in that bathroom, her eyes closed and mine filled with pain. Will she ever know the depths of my love? Who knew God would use a moment blow drying her hair to bring about a profound reminder of hope.
I hear the warriors crying out in broken words, but free. All for love, they call upon, the power to rescue me.
You cannot love others as yourself if you do not love yourself first.
I want to go home, get out, be done, leave this world. It holds nothing for me. The world has been a pain in my ass from the get go.