You came to this decision because your mental wellness matters. More than likely you are at the end of yourself, now you have to surrender.
It can take years for a mother to recognize codependency in herself. So much of what it entails looks like just being a mom.
One can’t explain this battle. Watching a loved one attach the shackles and lock the key to their prison cell. Frantic to escape, yet comfortable in their addiction zone. They believe they are paralyzed in this place forever. However, the entire time they hold the key to a lock that is latched from the inside. …
Active addiction can end, but recovering from addiction is for life.
The words ‘working a program’ don’t always sit well with people. So call it your recovery plan, your living agenda, your addiction success manifesto, or your SURVIVAL plan!
Four lives lost. In one week, I have sent condolences to four mothers. One more high became the last high. Two of those beautiful souls had been in recovery. That first use after a long period of being clean is scary. Too often, it is fatal. My heart aches for families who wanted this time …
We can support those with substance use disorder in many ways, as long as it is accepted. However, what are we left to do when our support is insufficient (aka, not enough) or creates tension in an already tense dynamic?
The overwhelming source of 'sin' being laid on me by Satan himself was a sham. He used my compassion, empathy, and sorrow against me. The devil wanted me to soak in the loss of His game. He was happy watching me suffer for something I did not do. Even my anger became his play toy. Justifying it just as he did depression, sadness, remorse, and every other emotion and feeling I used to batter my soul.
Letting go was forfeiting my need to be some part of their savior.
An addict's mother crying, as the day begins. Endless prayers are rising, her hope speaks to win. But battles are not owned by mothers on the side. And gloves may be on, but never touch the fight.