"God, if you have to take my son, I will let him go." I will never forget the pain in those words. I was heartbroken and angry. How would God do this to us?
I remember the first time I saw the Mel Gibson film, "Passion of the Christ." Every part of that movie brought history to life. The sacrifice of Jesus Christ on that cross impacted me. If I close my eyes and you do, it paralyzes and delivers a punch to the gut, still.
How can I share my vulnerability with others, and still, they say I am strong? It is a dynamic that is hard to grasp, especially when my current state of being is weak.
Strength in me.
"Lord, do I have enough in me to handle this"
Why do I write and speak on the topic of mental health, namely bipolar disorder?
I follow a few social media style support networks for Christians with depression, and it baffles me that in 2020 we still hear the misguided answer that the devil is living in us through this mental illness. Allow me to correct this with calm words on a screen, as in person, it may get heated.
Because depression sucks.
I bottle up the internal pain and suffering, only sharing with a few. I wear the mask and behavior of normalcy.
I dislike holidays for many reasons, and those reasons keep coming, too. But Thanksgiving is a gift. A day of respite from the task of mentally surviving.