There was relief In the final sigh.. When surrender felt Like breath of life..
"God, if you have to take my son, I will let him go." I will never forget the pain in those words. I was heartbroken and angry. How would God do this to us?
How do we love those who not only appear unlovable in their mess but also hate us in it, as well? I had dodged fists and verbal attacks, put up bail money (only once), picked up my grand-kids from a ravaged house with a passed out mom, and cleaned out more hidden empty bottles than I can count. Still, the pain I felt when the handcuffs went on killed me. The hopelessness was burning through my soul the way Satan enjoys.
You're not a failure. Never forget that.
One word, five minutes..GO!
As my son made his way to 18, I thought it was all coming to an end. As though my status as mom would be revoked and I had to apply for a new one.
I knew this time was coming, I have written about it for a couple years now. As a mother who was so deeply involved there has been grief for losing the woman and mother I was once.
Your child may seem like the cutest thing in the world to you. I’m sure they are adorable, but we’ve seemed to lose sight of what constitutes ‘brattiness’. If your child screams no at you at the age of three, you need to put a stop to it. They are doing it to their teacher at school, as well, and their friends.
One by one their lives and their spirals and my presence changed. They have their own lives and I'm just a small part of it, maybe much smaller than I ever realized.
I won’t continue to feel beat up by a past that hurt me, ridiculed me, took advantage of me, shamed me and tossed me away. I will not hold back the gentle truth, no matter how harsh it is. I will not give up on people simply because they choose to give up on me. I will not be that person...