. .”It is the awkward space of anticipatory grief (when you know the end is near) and longing for life to return. Here we meet our darkest thoughts and our deepest hope, and it is in the black undercurrent of life they collide.”..
People rely on themselves for what only God provides, and it shows. We have entire courses to teach people how to be all about themselves! Self love sounds sufficient and enough.
.This story chronicles prejudice and shunning of a woman by society, but within these verses the character of Jesus is revealed. The important message shows Jesus as loving and accepting of people like us.
Another blindfold melts away. For all I can see, there are still layers to go. In my hurting heart, it feels bigger than my mind can grasp. I didn't fail my children, but I cannot lie, my church is hard truth statement is dark.
After a decade, I have awakened to the true meaning of letting go and allowing God to work. He shows my loved one his tender mercy daily, wrapping her safety in the deadliest scenarios. It is evident to everyone but her. He loves us with a powerful love that seems foreign and unattainable. Yet, there she is-alive and healing.
Months ago, I pulled up to the parking garage where the car was left behind. I walked to every business in the vicinity, asking if anyone saw my daughter. I begged to look at outdoor cameras. Being denied without a warrant was frustrating. Finally, the police reviewed one camera, and from what they saw, began a missing person report.
The overwhelming source of 'sin' being laid on me by Satan himself was a sham. He used my compassion, empathy, and sorrow against me. The devil wanted me to soak in the loss of His game. He was happy watching me suffer for something I did not do. Even my anger became his play toy. Justifying it just as he did depression, sadness, remorse, and every other emotion and feeling I used to batter my soul.
I tried to be the strong warrior for all, in fact my words were still fierce and meaningful. Unfortunately, the auto pilot mechanism of helping others, never applied to me.
God's love will lead us to step aside. His parenting must come first.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw us in that bathroom, her eyes closed and mine filled with pain. Will she ever know the depths of my love? Who knew God would use a moment blow drying her hair to bring about a profound reminder of hope.