Love lives there, And filters down For trying moments In silenced sound. When world erupts And plans change. It's Christ alone, That Holy Name.
I believe in His mighty ways, but I wonder who I ticked off. These irrational thoughts lead back to my religious beginnings of doing more rather than being enough.
I never intended to lose myself as I found myself, but I believe that's what happened. I gained insight into one part of me while losing the other.
"God, if you have to take my son, I will let him go."
I will never forget the pain in those words. I was heartbroken and angry. How would God do this to us?
From far away, things look regular and routine. However, up close, you see the jagged edges and broken pieces of a shattered soul. When I step into myself, I face a stranger.
And sorrow cascades in a hushed certainty.
Fading in and out of reality.
And joy evades, and hope carries away..
what is sure to come again on a better day.
I bottle up the internal pain and suffering, only sharing with a few. I wear the mask and behavior of normalcy.
Ask me about Bipolar; it's ok. I do not fear the questions.
I noticed this week that I am losing focus quickly, am incredibly fatigued, and lost. If I don't write it down, I forget. All of these are my warnings blinking brightly.
He is a God who loves beyond the limits and boundaries of human love. A God who is entirely available, always punctual, and forever reliable.