Anxiety used to be here.
I am enjoying a quiet time at the airport sitting alone and watching the diverse crowd around me. Most are gazing at their phone, engaged in games, social media, news, or email. I wonder if anyone is writing like me.
The past week challenged me with last minute emergency care needs of my grandkids. They started school last week and the early drive is daunting. Duties are handed off to great-granny, and I am vacation bound.
My flight is delayed by over an hour, I will be lucky to make my connection. There was a day this chaos would drive me straight to an anxiety attack. The panic would set off chest pain and breathing difficulties. This airport scenario happened before, so I know it well.
Today I am a calm woman, my lungs are working fine, and my mind is focused here. My heart fills with humble gratitude in how far I’ve come. Even the brief second of unknown flew by with little attention. I’ve got this.
It took work to get to this place. Years of patient and consistent care of my mind. Reigning in my thoughts became a priority. My daughter said something yesterday that stuck in my mind, “You were depressed, then one day it disappeared.”
Those words both stung and brought a smile to my face. I thought no one knew. In all my functioning I could not hide the depression. This means my kids experienced my anxiety too. I convinced myself I hid it well. Wrong sister!
The flip side encourages me,
“Then one day it disappeared.”
I know the exact time life changed. I completed my last regime of medication to this day (not to say I am opposed to medication), and declared Jesus in charge. We trust Him for everything else, mental health is no different. Though it’s a taboo subject that people claim to want to emphasize, it remains on the outskirts of conversation.
My life as I knew it made an abrupt stop, recharged, and took off again. Everything changed. Faith filled my heart, and restored my mind. God reached down and altered one small life in a mighty way. Dorothy may have had a scarecrow, tin man, and lion, but I had Jesus Christ! There is power in that Name and my best life in His hands.