Mental illness and stay at home orders.
Maybe my lesson is the one you need today. Maybe your pain is still holding you down, even to the point of wrapping itself around your throat and constricting every breath you take.
..we isolate ourselves, physically, mentally, and spiritually. We voluntarily walk into his cell, lock the door, and throw the key. We batter ourselves within our mental disorder until it is all we focus on, all we can see.
A short reminder to encourage the anxiety fighter out there.
I believe in His mighty ways, but I wonder who I ticked off. These irrational thoughts lead back to my religious beginnings of doing more rather than being enough.
My struggle in anxiety is the complete loss of control. I can work my thoughts in depression and mania, but anxiety has proven to take the upper hand in the past.
When I am bound by bipolar, I fear movement. I cast this unimaginable shadow over myself that darkens with each passing day. I proved this earlier this month when I looked out my office window and noticed the sun.
For fear of losing myself, I take time to get in my head and to lift my spirits through the strength of Jesus Christ. On my own, I fail to save myself. I know this, so I fight to reach in and surrender.
I have long been on the fence regarding support networks. I attended some that only brought me down, and others with so little accountability, you can't rely on their process as support. I appreciate the current group I am meeting with as we are using a specific workbook written for mental health.
I don't choose to hide my truth in some closet in hopes of fooling anyone. I make no claims to owning the answers for mental health. I am not the authority on anything.