Lisa Wenninger-Speaker/Writer-Faith, Family Addiction, Mental Health
I play the 'forget game' to move on. Forget what they did, forget what they said, forget the pain, forget the abuse, forget the porn, forget the drinking. I work so hard to forget, I never allow myself to heal.
Not my God! His love says, “Surrender, come to me all who are weary and heavily burdened, and I will carry you. Tether to me, my load is light, and yours is heavy. Give this to me.”
When I am bound by bipolar, I fear movement. I cast this unimaginable shadow over myself that darkens with each passing day. I proved this earlier this month when I looked out my office window and noticed the sun.
Stress is powerful. My physical health suffered as a direct result of my emotional and mental collapse. I was sick. I dealt with blood pressure issues, stomach problems, migraines, aches and pains- ALL from fear and anxiety associated with an addiction I NEVER had!
The best question I read was, “Where do I end and the other person begins?”
The waves are coming in heavier and higher than where I spent the weekend. It reminds me of the waves of raw emotions and circumstances that invade my life. There’s either a gentle breeze or a severe storm. Whichever one arrives, I’ve learned to brace for impact.
I know the doubt, fear, and frustration in managing the symptoms of bipolar. If I prayed long and hard enough, I thought I would be healed, cured, and labeled a miracle. So far, that has not happened. I am still balancing bipolar, but with a new understanding of my mind.
Each year the World Health Association states that 800,000 people die by suicide. That is one person every 40 minutes- one person who felt alone, hopeless, unable, incapable, and done. My heart breaks for those who reach a space of emptiness.
Planting the Word of God in our hearts forecasts what will be and ultimately changes our lives, for what is in our heart will be in our mind. Reading, knowing, and applying the truth of God to every part of our being is a recipe for greatness and godliness in a fallen world.
I tried to be the strong warrior for all, in fact my words were still fierce and meaningful. Unfortunately, the auto pilot mechanism of helping others, never applied to me.
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