I know the doubt, fear, and frustration in managing the symptoms of bipolar. If I prayed long and hard enough, I thought I would be healed, cured, and labeled a miracle. So far, that has not happened. I am still balancing bipolar, but with a new understanding of my mind.
Each year the World Health Association states that 800,000 people die by suicide. That is one person every 40 minutes- one person who felt alone, hopeless, unable, incapable, and done. My heart breaks for those who reach a space of emptiness.
Planting the Word of God in our hearts forecasts what will be and ultimately changes our lives, for what is in our heart will be in our mind. Reading, knowing, and applying the truth of God to every part of our being is a recipe for greatness and godliness in a fallen world.
I tried to be the strong warrior for all, in fact my words were still fierce and meaningful. Unfortunately, the auto pilot mechanism of helping others, never applied to me.
When anxiety tramples your night.
I want to go home, get out, be done, leave this world. It holds nothing for me. The world has been a pain in my ass from the get go.
(It is #77) What the hell am I doing? I rarely cuss. I hate it, to be honest. If it leaves my mouth, my patience is fried. I may be there today. I watched a movie early this morning. A sappy love film. "How long have you been married? Do you really even know who …
Is this a meltdown of sorts? For the first time in my life, I am crying out to myself- not a doctor, not family, not even God. I am internally wailing at myself to wake up, to feel, to live. Yet, I have zero response in me.
There is darkness in information overload, constant debating turned confrontation and reading the barrage of opinions and rude remarks. We listen, unpack, then regurgitate it back to the masses. All the while, filling our thoughts with worldly nonsense in a brain not capable of holding more. Processing is a function that tires you out. If you don't prioritize your ideas, you will lose ground in mental clarity and stability.
"I'm doing all I can to get through my own struggle."