Bipolar Life- The Journal #39

I am enjoying a time of peace. It took many long months of pressing into Jesus to get here. I struggled, as most of us do, through intense stress over the last few years, and it takes intentional surrender to back out of those dark places. It is in the surrender that we find our strength, because only then do we allow Jesus to become more than ourselves. In this dynamic, his strength overcomes our weakness. That strength lives in us.

Bipolar is an odd disorder. It drops us to the depths of depression that others cannot understand, then it picks us up to heights of our imagination that we cannot understand. The aftermath is devastating. In my life, the aftermath is capable of pushing me into another depression! As we cycle through these highs and lows, it is a challenge to find or feel peace.

This is why it took me months. I lived in a spinning tunnel of circumstantial sadness. Thrown from top to bottom on a regular basis, I never found my footing. The ride tormented me and my thoughts lingered far to long on the spinning rather than anything inside me. (Which is a Satan scheme if I ever knew one!) My focus and trust was on how I would stay standing and moving forward. Had I shifted and kept the hope and belief that I was comfortable in my Savior’s hands, I would have known peace a long time ago.

Our battle through bipolar is real. Please, never doubt that. Also never doubt your living companion, Jesus Christ. To have him in my life is wearing a life vest in deep waters, or swinging from the trapeze knowing he’s the net, or jumping from the airplane and he’s the parachute. The point is, I am safe. In every potentially dangerous situation, you have peace, if you know you are equipped with the safety gear necessary and trust it to protect you through the danger.

I do not know what is to come. Right now, the unknown is looming large. Still, I sit here in calm, peace, and joy.

My prayer is you do the same. If I can pray this for you, leave a comment. We could all use a little prayer!

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