Lisa Wenninger-Speaker/Writer-Faith, Family Addiction, Mental Health
I play the 'forget game' to move on. Forget what they did, forget what they said, forget the pain, forget the abuse, forget the porn, forget the drinking. I work so hard to forget, I never allow myself to heal.
When I am bound by bipolar, I fear movement. I cast this unimaginable shadow over myself that darkens with each passing day. I proved this earlier this month when I looked out my office window and noticed the sun.
If we took a few moments to consider our words wisely, or to determine if our words are necessary at all, we would change things. Most importantly, we would change ourselves.
Whether we are fighting battles in our faith, or Satan on the frontline, the message is clear.
The devil prowls. We know creatures who prowl come to destroy and devour.
..”I allowed myself to die before I am dead.”.. This is the raw truth of being done. Finding yourself at a place of hopelessness and fighting for the will to carry on.
I know the doubt, fear, and frustration in managing the symptoms of bipolar. If I prayed long and hard enough, I thought I would be healed, cured, and labeled a miracle. So far, that has not happened. I am still balancing bipolar, but with a new understanding of my mind.
Each year the World Health Association states that 800,000 people die by suicide. That is one person every 40 minutes- one person who felt alone, hopeless, unable, incapable, and done. My heart breaks for those who reach a space of emptiness.
Planting the Word of God in our hearts forecasts what will be and ultimately changes our lives, for what is in our heart will be in our mind. Reading, knowing, and applying the truth of God to every part of our being is a recipe for greatness and godliness in a fallen world.
I tried to be the strong warrior for all, in fact my words were still fierce and meaningful. Unfortunately, the auto pilot mechanism of helping others, never applied to me.
I want to go home, get out, be done, leave this world. It holds nothing for me. The world has been a pain in my ass from the get go.
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