Bipolar life- The Journal #79, No one knows..

I want to go home, get out, be done, leave this world. It holds nothing for me. The world has been a pain in my ass from the get go.

My Memories- Glimpse the Sadness

...Unfortunately, every night became a haunted nightmare, and to survive, I closed my eyes and flew away. With my baby sister in the bunk bed below me, I endured the torture, hopeful he would leave her alone. I would shed a tear in the darkness and whisper in my mind, "don't move… don't move..don't wake up…don't see.."

Bipolar Living- Speechless

Is this a meltdown of sorts? For the first time in my life, I am crying out to myself- not a doctor, not family, not even God. I am internally wailing at myself to wake up, to feel, to live. Yet, I have zero response in me.