Bipolar Life- Fighting Strong

I just finished watching Creed 2 (LOVE this movie!).As the credits began to roll I turned to my husband and said, “I have watched these movies since I was a little girl. I am probably the only little girl that did that.” The first time I experienced Rocky Balboa I witnessed a genuine fighter in and out of the ring. I was inspired even as a child. The tender heart of Rocky captivated me.

In a life with little hope as a little girl, I didn’t know many men with tender hearts. I am not sure I knew a man with a tender heart. Combine that with being the fighter he was, and I was sold. Fighting my own battles, I had a choice to make, fight hard with a gentle heart, or fight hard with a brick heart. Who needs a brick heart?

I could be justified to be a hard-hearted person given my story. Some days my exterior gives people that false idea that I am hard. I learned to carry myself this way long ago, to mask the pain on the inside. However, through the tough exterior and the pain, was a sweet and loving child. Given a chance, people focused on what came out of me more than what they saw on my face or posture.

I will never apologize for the survival skills I used. They kept my heart safe from a darker posture it could have taken. To this day I am not approachable in certain situations. Catch me at work and welcome is written on my face. See me walking down a city sidewalk, I’ve been told I l look ‘mean’ or ‘intimidating’. I pray I am not those things!

However, my honesty is sometimes referred to as brutal. I am working on that!

I am a gentle fighter. It is all I know. I have managed to stay soft, and that softness keeps me kind and loving. Though I experienced trauma, I chose to not live traumatized. I choose to care about others and give of myself when I can. I struggle to increase my selflessness over selfishness, but it is a life long endeavor.

‘You want to change things in a big way,

then you need to make some big changes.’

Rocky Balboa (Creed II)

I am not the person evil hoped to create. It fought to take me down, but I only rose stronger. I fight for the good in myself and hope to inspire others in this journey. Rocky is a fictional character who inspired the real-life me.

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