Addiction Sucks-Healing Begins

A special day ahead!

My daughter (A) and I will take my granddaughter on her field trip. It has been a long time since we enjoyed a special outing. I enjoy the depth of my relationship with A. Adulthood evolved our relationship. Our laughter is loud and obnoxious, and talks are fun and deep. Other days I sit back and wonder where I went wrong in this relationship. Life is complicated.

My sons are my pride and joy; my daughter is my sidekick. Missing her is equivalent to missing a breath. My family and friends see my emptiness with concern. They want what is best for me. My kids being happy and healthy are my interest. I am happiest watching their happiness.

These past few years I have been in sorrow for a relationship that goes hot and cold. Unable to shirk the weight of failure, my heart longs for healing. Physical changes I endured due to stress are overwhelming. Whether mental health, physical health, or spiritual health, the outcome feels tragic. The spiritual effects leave me sad and grasping for something I desperately need, my Father. His peaceful presence comforts a hurting heart.

Addiction destroys relationships. It constructs walls of doubt and will spin one false storyline after another. Loss ushers in an unfamiliar grief cycle. Gone are obnoxious laughs and deep conversations. You have no preparation for the layover as you enter this terminal. You feel there is a canyon between you. Alone, you search for something recognizable.

Friday, May 3rd is a blessed day. I know we will laugh, smile, and enjoy every moment. After an intense and long wait, a piece of my heart will return and I can breathe again.

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