Chasing disappointments that have plagued me for years now, I am somber. There is a sense of grief for a person I desired to be. My sheltered dreams seem unattainable. Life is more about everyone else than me.
The character of unconditional love is a gift. It blinds us to the truth. Yet, it simultaneously exposes us to the truth.
You're not a failure. Never forget that.
Prompt Word: Different Yes, I am different.
Addiction destroys relationships. It constructs walls of doubt and will spin one false storyline after another. Loss ushers in an unfamiliar grief cycle.
If it were that simple, this world would look very different. Love is hard friend. It may not be easy to love what others deem ‘unlovable’ and difficult to love.
I have not turned away from God, or stopped trusting Him; on the contrary, my only refuge in this storm is Jesus Christ. Saturated with fears and anguish to the core of my being, my release comes every day as I share the truths of my heart with Him.
Run, little girl, run.
Straight to the precipice down below.
Run, run, as far as you can
No where else to go.
Four years of writing bits and pieces of my living and breathing authentic life- yet, for the most part, it was my authentic past, or other's authentic lives that were intertwined with mine, pulling me into their journey far more than I was truly living within my own.
So tonight, as I shed some of those tears I thought had dried up, I can rejoice in knowing that Jesus understands that fatigue, he understands my pain, and he understands the tears of joy, he understands my emotions- and yes, he fully understands the flood as the dam was released, and those wet drops began to fall.