I hate depression.
I know it well.
It is like Satan himself is literally sitting on the top of your head, jumping up and down, stomping you right into the pit of despair he dug, himself, just for you.
I hate the lack of energy.
The tidal wave of emotions that come in sets unannounced.
I hate the isolation that Satan tries to convince us to desire.
I hate the feeling of inadequacy and failure, at everything. Satan always coming at us through our weakest points. Even those small, unimportant things, like not vacuuming. FAIL.
I hate crying. Then I hate not crying.
Those moments we look in a mirror and despise ourselves for what we see on the outside, and on the inside.
I have fought my entire life to overcome these lies that the devil had placed in my mind. I have fought to climb out of that pit, with everything I’ve got- just to survive another day.
I have fought the temptations of Satan, the doubt he instills in every part of who I am..
I fight to remind myself that
I am worthy, forgiven, redeemed, and loved.
I hold onto the knowledge that not only am I loved, but I am loved ‘eternally’!
Endlessly and completely.
I love that I was able to trust God and raise my hand to be lifted from the mental and emotional grave Satan dug for me, to be gently lifted by God himself.
I love that I am able to embrace my past, my present and my future without shame, or anger, or resentment.
To share the raw truth, right here, with you.
This is the life of Christ.
He didn’t come to find the well behaved, perfectly living sinless soul.
He came for the broken, the lost, the hurting and depressed soul. He came for the rich and the poor, the men and the women.
He came to live, to die and to rise again.
He came for you.
Know one thing tonight.