Addiction doesn’t change a parent’s love- it eventually instigates the need to form livable boundaries. Not against the person fighting, but for the person who can’t do a thing to help them!
Parents want to fix a child lost in addiction- they want to save them from their mistakes because, usually, those consequences are LIFE-CHANGING!
It takes a long time for parents to realize there’s no control and they’re not a savior. It may take years for them to stop enabling addiction behaviors with their hope of helping and thinking they show their love by stepping into spaces they never should be in.
Often today- parents are told connection is the best way. But don’t be ashamed when that connection is minimal. My connection dwindled to texts, then infrequent texts. Now, with no phone at the other end, I can’t even do that.
Connection is most helpful after a period of sobriety and entering into recovery. But I found myself holding back through those times as my loved one found his way, voice, and accountability. I would listen and encourage. A time for my truth would come when he was strong enough to hear it. My heart spoke gently, hoping he would listen to me and understand the other side.
Connection in active addiction is individual per the situation. You don’t deserve abuse of any kind.
You don’t deserve the on-and-off contact that we experience with our loved ones, sitting around wondering if they are dead or alive. You evolve in being in this world of substance use. When the time comes that it’s normal to not hear from them for long periods, you cope. You don’t go through the same emotions daily you did at the beginning. You can function again through the pain.
I suppose your heart is a bit hardened to the possibilities as you accept their choices and the outcomes of chronic substance use- jail, treatment, or death.
None of the connection issues change our love.
How we choose to communicate and be involved won’t change our love.
Even within the silence- we still love our children always and forever.
No matter what.
♥️Lisa
#hope #love #mindset #wellness #motivation #inspiration #addiction #addictionrecovery #recovery
Authentic Truths 