No, I am not a hero. My experiences are cringe-worthy. Navigating God's purpose in the aftermath isn't always easy. Who am I, and why me?
Life happens to us all. I admit I pouted more than I should. As a non-crier, I cried a few times. I begged God to end this cycle, and we fought in the canyons of hopelessness. He won.
A few words on grief and loss.
I went into shock. It took an hour or so to come around and comprehend. When I grasped the truth of the situation, I began sobbing uncontrollably.
We talk about mental illness and death after suicide, but it seems beneficial to discuss the reality that before there came suicide, there was a mental illness. Just like before there came an overdose; there was an addiction.
Human nature. It is a description of characteristics on thinking, feeling, and behaving, a phrase, and often an excuse for bad behavior. Today, I am leaning into the excuse part. I have a battered past. Both colorful and very black and white, it defines the road that made me who I am today. By my …
I craved belonging. Not to belong to a group, but to belong to something more than mental illness, shame, sadness, and fear.
The slow unpacking of a broken soul. Where the beat of a heart doesn't indicate life, but a life undone. When hopelessness is no longer a thought or feeling, but a destination.
I only understand one thing.. Grief is forever.