Quiet the Chaos, Honor Your Story
Tonight I remember Amy Bleuel, founder of Project Semicolon. She was the voice for many. Her encouragement and dedication to the fight against suicide was empowering. She grew tired and lost her battle. On this night, I get it.
And sorrow cascades in a hushed certainty. Fading in and out of reality. And joy evades, and hope carries away.. what is sure to come again on a better day.
What caused a happy, beaming mother to be to decide to use one last time? I will never know. Perhaps the thought of it being the last time never entered her mind. Does it ever?
I went into shock. It took an hour or so to come around and comprehend. When I grasped the truth of the situation, I began sobbing uncontrollably.
Because depression sucks.
Depression is hard, but we keep trying.
If I disappear...
You're not a failure. Never forget that.
We talk about mental illness and death after suicide, but it seems beneficial to discuss the reality that before there came suicide, there was a mental illness. Just like before there came an overdose; there was an addiction.
I bottle up the internal pain and suffering, only sharing with a few. I wear the mask and behavior of normalcy.
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Quiet the Chaos, Honor Your Story
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