If I disappear
Don’t look for me.
Let me sit in the mist of peace.
Don’t cry, don’t call.
Let me be
where all is left behind.
If I disappear,
Look up..
See me in the blue,
Watch me in the clouds,
rolling by.
Stand on white sand,
Look as far as you can see.
I will be among the waves.
Crashing where I am free.
If I disappear,
Know I meant to go.
Where the sting cannot reach,
Flying with the birds,
Where the air is the
Only barrier I face.
I chose to go.
Intentionally free
From life’s prison
To constantly be.
No more.
I’m now free.
Let me go. Let me go.
Shed no tears for me.
For where I am,
I’m quite content.
I run, or fly, or walk in silence.
My long lost dream.
Every worry now released.
If I disappear,
just forget and
leave me behind.
Live your life
And I’ll live mine.
Life’s prison I escaped.
All is left behind.
Nothing will I take.
If I disappear,
Life loses,
I’m finally mine.
Authentic Truths 
Lisa, my bipolar son DID disappear. It’s been a year and a half this month. These words were exactly him. Exactly. I wish I could “let him go” like I know he’d want me to. I wish I could gladly embrace all things you so eloquently gave word to. I wish that I could believe that his illness didn’t take him to the place of no return… but I’m afraid it did. I hope he found the reality of what he was so desperately was searching: all the things in this poem. I love/hate this poem with all my heart. Any (other) words for those of us loved ones so affected by this illness too?
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I’m sorry Jane. I wish I had words, but all I can offer is this blog. It is my real and authentic reality. Perhaps the insight may help some. May God comfort you when no one else can, as only He knows how.
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