“I’m doing good. I’m sober. I don’t need treatment or counseling.”
You hear these words and want to hope they’re real. For brief moments you believe them. There is a pause in the worry, fear, and doubt. You tell others, “Maybe she is doing better.”
You wake up one morning to a social media post. You hear the voice. You see the eyes. You experience the truth. There is nothing sober in what you just watched. A mother knows. I know.
There’s a certain eye that gets lazy. There’s a certain way her lips move, the voice sounds, and the face becomes. There is a steady but slower rhythm to her speech. A mother always knows.
And I know now. Perhaps, I always have.
It never fails. In come the men and their obnoxious comments, the likes, the attention. They never see what I see or hear what I hear. Because they don’t know. Which is why social media became a safe haven for a beautiful girl turned woman. Beyond onlookers screens, she can hide the truth, the fear, the misplaced confidence, and a ravaged world of addiction.
I am not alone. For those looking past the surface, they will see the high. Unhidden, the painful reality of sadness and distance is there. It is a solid reminder of where it all stands- which points to temporary defeat. A state we pray will one day be overcome.
With the revelation, we move on from hope in those words of sobriety, and once again settle into hope in God alone. We knew better to stray from our lane, but the heart often directs the mind. What we feel and what we know don’t align. We stumble just like others. By the grace of God, we stagger toward our Father. He saw, he knew, he waited for our return. Arms opened wide, in love and understanding, we fall.
It is the yo-yo of an addict’s life. The push and pull of shadowed truth and outright lies. We accept evil’s hold and know it’s game well. We’ve played it for years. It is detestable to think the devil has one plan- to destroy. It’s heart-wrenching to watch him grip the life of our loved ones tighter by the day.
However, we have no control in the fight. We have no say or opinion in the choices made. Addiction has the power and speaks louder than even the world. The reality is beyond our realm into a prison we cannot comprehend. A place we can’t go.
So, we settle back in our peace. Where things are riddled with chaos but overwhelmed by serenity that baffles. A tranquility promised by a Heavenly Father who delivers. He is our peace and the goal is to stay firmly planted in Him, in all ways, for all time. While distractions come, He never leaves. That is a truth that never waivers, and a hope forever bound.
Lisa @ Authentic Truths ♥️