I keep telling myself to breathe; tomorrow will be a better day. Many days have come and gone, and I repeat the same advice. Hope believes in what I cannot see. (Hebrews 11:1) Well, here is to believing in a better future I cannot see. If I pray, and remain hopeful, change will come.
Maybe I am in a pessimistic mood today. On the other hand, optimistic sarcasm sparks a little grin. In any case, as I float somewhere between optimism and pessimism the positive is I am still floating! I would rather float myself to a beautiful white sandy beach, but this will do. I have my dreams to escape the dreary reality on this overcast day. The weather fits my current mood.
When people suck the life from you, it would be nice if they took some fat too! However, as I work to regain my life, they can keep the fat! Is this what I wait for, recapturing the good ole days of my life. Swished in turmoil, I feel the fatigue. I am an empty shell, a dull, plain shell at that. The luster of living no longer holds my interest. The tides of my mind lift me up and drop me down. I stumble through like a drunken twenty something. In trying to be everything to others, I am nothing to myself. Welcome to the life draining effect of the past few years. Fortunately, I am aware of the dire need for change, and I am a strong and bold enough woman to pick myself up. Many continue being the ball in a ping-pong game. For those feeling the smack of the paddle, throw yourself off the table and keep rolling! Life is more than repetitive drama and the brutal bruising of your heart.
We love deep, as a mother, daughter, wife, friend, and it is a joy to do so. Those who batter our soul love us with a different level of appreciation. Unable to gauge their next move, we can’t remain stagnant in waiting. Every step may resemble the slow and steady walk of a turtle, it is the act of moving which matters. Forging on, I remember who I am and whom I live for, and that my friends, is not me. The beauty of being is I owe nothing; but owe all too Jesus, who lives in me. Therefore, while I feel empty and incomplete, His love fills the shell and gives me purpose.