Bipolar Life-A Bridge to the Other Side

My memory doesn’t work as well these days. It’s not due to aging, I’m only in my 40’s!

However, it is due to my unintentional safety mechanism- the skilled and talented ability of forgetting.

I learned early that to survive and to carry on, I had to push my reality aside. There was no time for what I should have been allowed to feel. If I wanted to be included in the family, I played the game. And to stay safe, I conveniently began losing memories, good and bad. It just was what it was.

But as an adult, now safe, I’ve realized I’ve done this same thing. When times were rough, I would forget. Raising a blended family brought challenges I wasn’t prepared for. Having bipolar in this scenario was like living in a fun house and never knowing what was around the next corner.

There came a point where I made the decision, very personal decision, that I needed to find alternative ways to help myself. I knew I was one bipolar mess! To clean up that mess, I had to find the bridge to close the gap between my bipolar world and the rest of my world. I had to remember I had what I needed to overcome. I had to remember to not live in the realm of risky behavior, or the depressed world where I barely functioned.

I made a dedicated decision that I was going to live, and live well. I began taking prayer a whole lot more serious. I also began engaging in the things I loved when bipolar wasn’t effecting me so terribly.

I returned to church.

I began to heal a marriage that had truly broken and separated.

I wanted to reinvent the Lisa-mom. I wanted to be the mom my kids deserved!

What I found through this intentional journey was that I wasn’t building a bridge to close the gap, but I was building a bridge to the other side, away from the fear, the chaos. And when I crossed that bridge- I burned it down!

I had found a peace I never knew existed. A peace I truly had never accepted or believed in until I said ‘enough’, and took the steps necessary to heal and move forward.

I chose more for myself than mental hospitals, mental free falls, and mental distress!

I chose joy!

Of course, there are no cures for bipolar, but don’t ever believe you have to be stuck on the side of a canyon that leaves you feeling hopeless and helpless.

Begin to build your bridge! It’s possible, I promise.

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