I used to think "Why did God allow this." Evil wants nothing to do with God, and we have free will in this world. Combine evil with free will, and you get evil acts.
I only understand one thing.. Grief is forever.
I was my own interventionist when things got out of control in my adulthood. I knew there had to be more than depression or this crazy alter ego of 'sex, drugs, and rock n roll' I was living.
Life 101- I left that very distinguished position for an equally distinguished position, working for the Lord.
I moved through time with the reminder of his evil touch. The fear and anger of unwanted touch and ugly memories so triggering, I chose to hold them deep in my silent self. I sauntered as a woman scorned to one therapist after another, always sharing just enough but never close to all.
..I sat recovering from sets of circumstances that knocked me off my balance, and laughed as I took a free fall into the dark caverns of defeat. That piece of depression pisses me off- the laughter I hear as I crash. I hate that laughter, so the comeback is typically my game.
I refuse to allow your misunderstood ideas interfere with my living life to the fullest. I also refuse to live within the confines of the margins you create.
Looking back, I thought I'd never survive. Looking ahead, I hope I always will.
Steady proof I’ve Come so far. After the pain, the suffering, the healing, I Remain. I endure. I survive. Scarred. ..and whether seen or unseen. They are here. Whether visible or hidden Whether carved on skin or carved in mind. They’ve left me changed, Changed internal, Changed in life. The memory of their preceding pain, …
This is the truth. I have Bipolar disorder, I have lived with this for most of life. The childhood abuse I endured did one heck of a number on my brain and chemistry, changing forever what could have probably been a normal mind. Once I hit adulthood and a manic episode ended in the worst …