What caused a happy, beaming mother to be to decide to use one last time? I will never know. Perhaps the thought of it being the last time never entered her mind. Does it ever?
Because depression sucks.
Depression is hard, but we keep trying.
If I disappear...
We talk about mental illness and death after suicide, but it seems beneficial to discuss the reality that before there came suicide, there was a mental illness. Just like before there came an overdose; there was an addiction.
I bottle up the internal pain and suffering, only sharing with a few. I wear the mask and behavior of normalcy.
I dislike holidays for many reasons, and those reasons keep coming, too. But Thanksgiving is a gift. A day of respite from the task of mentally surviving.
People who engage in physical conditioning get a break between workouts; for those working to stay mentally healthy, there is no break. We take the work out with us everywhere we go.
Surviving the journey of sharing your story.
I will fail time and again, but wrapped in this comforter of peace, I walk in His victory.