Living in a rural community is a blessing. However, this week we ran into a snag. Our bus driver got ill, and there was no one to fill in, so we had to drive our kids to school. It may not be a crisis, but this is a challenge for parents who work and the extra half an hour of driving to and from the middle school (13 miles away, 17 minutes go time).
I quickly reached out to a single mother I know who works in law enforcement. We made our arrangements, and I drove her boys the couple of days that helped. She, in turn, offered to drive my two on Friday.
It took everything in me to accept her kindness and generous offer. When I peer into the situation, I know it is good that we take turns, which is common sense. However, for years now, I have struggled to accept help from others. Why? I cannot explain.
In being forced into raising my grandkids, many people shower me with love and generous offers to help in many capacities. As I type today, I can’t think of one time I accepted. Today, I did (kind of). She took my grandson to the middle school with her boys, but I chose to drive my granddaughter to the elementary school. To have her take both felt wrong somehow.
We live in a time that hearts are a bit darker. Still, when we look closer, we see the multitude that lives in love, care, compassion, and giving: people who will stop everything to help a stranger or a neighbor. I grew up in a close knit neighborhood. But for me, as a survivor of abuse, I struggle to trust people outside of very few family members and friends. I don’t want to ‘owe’ anyone. Owing was the theme of my childhood and the evil in my life.
I realize I am stuck in a piece of my past. Am I hindering the gift of generosity the Lord has placed on others? Or the blessings He intentionally showers on me? All because long ago, one person made my entire existence something I owed him? A burden no child should ever know.
I pray for an open heart to not only give love but to receive it as well. May I not live in fear but see God working in my life through the support and care from others. May we all be the light in a dark world illuminated by the heart of Jesus.
“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38
New International Version
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I can relate to not wanting to feel “indebted” to someone else. I’d much rather do the favor than feel like I owe someone. Thank you for sharing your perspective!
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Yes, I agree we are not only to give love, but to receive it, I loved your post thanks for sharing!
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Thank you, Leisa!
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When we refuse an offer of help, we are robbing the giver of a blessing from God. We had to learn this lesson hard way.
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i am so sorry you grew up in a way that you are forced to consider the consequences of “owing” someone anything. That’s a hard burden to bear at any stage of life, and to have it cemented in you as a child, is horrible! I pray that the Lord will help you see what is “owed” and what is just part of normal helpfulness within society. It’s just a hard one to balance. FMF21
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Thank you Annette. The first step is recognizing it!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼
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I did not want to be beholden,
for I did not trust a soul,
but the way that life is folding,
solitaire won’t keep me whole.
I must now stretch out my hands
in the faith that they’ll be taken
by one who cares, and understands,
and whose strong faith will not be shaken
by the zombie I have come to be,
with shuffled gait and grunted speech,
a person that was once a Me,
but person hood’s now out of reach
except for those who’ll lead me on
to a new and brighter dawn.
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There are sheets those others ♥️ Thank you. How are you? I tried commenting the other day, but it wouldn’t allow me.
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Independence is a highly praised virtue in our society, but in the Bible, not so much so. We are supposed to live in community with others and especially with God. I think the elevation of independence is one of the biggest lies we overlook, and inadvertently pass on to our kids. Now, more than ever in history, people think they don’t need each other and can’t see why they need God. Your story accents the fact that we also need to be dependable people, so when others give up that independence and rely on us, we come through in helpful and healthy ways. I’m sorry that was not your experience growing up. It is encouraging to see the Holy Spirit bringing it back around and showing you the blessing in giving and receiving help.
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