In addiction, it’s truth- an addicted ridden mind can’t simultaneously care about the next high while caring about those who love them.
This is a one way road to fulfill that craving, habit, feel-good memory created in the mind from the very first use- that high that satisfied and numbed it all.
I don’t like the words ‘give up’ because that’s not what family members of people with substance issues do. We stop being in the addiction. We stop assisting the addiction. To me giving up insinuates being weak, not caring, and not loving our family member. Which is far from the truth.
I prefer letting go. Which allows them to live their life, but loving without living in toxic choices with them. Letting go says strength, courage, faith, hope, and acceptance. Strong words for strong people. It may be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
The addicted mind has tasted sin in a way that weakens their freewill to do what’s best and right for themselves. Sin speaks hate, unworthiness, unloved, weak, evil, shamed, shunned, and intimidation to the broken.
Basically it fills them with lies after lies after lies. Conviction is misunderstood as judgement until conviction is gone. They know their truth, even if they try to convince everyone of the lies. Deep inside they know the behaviors are wrong, just as we all do. However, evil sets in and screams they are alone, no one cares, they’ve been abandoned. In truth, they abandoned their life and families long before families ever decided to let go.
When you care, you find a way to be there without being in their addiction. Surrender and prayer is the way for me. Accepting that I cannot fix, cure, change, or even save my loved one was the first step to my recovery.
Letting go isn’t giving up on people, it is giving them up to God.
I won’t give up on those I love. I fight for their awakening with all I have in faith and hope. I believe recovery is possible, even when all looks hopeless. We all have dark days in convincing ourselves to hold on and believe. God is my strength, He is the great comforter and redeemer. By His power we are healed! All it takes is surrender. One personal choice can lead to freedom. In Christ alone my hope is found.
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