Is the opportunity to dream just for dreams?
For years I have been inspired to share my story. Decades of writing in many forms were my outlet. One Sunday at church, 15 years ago, we were asked to trust God in an area of our life that we held back. I moved forward, and when asked what I stood for, I shared that I believe God has called me to inspire others through speaking my story to share His glory.
I look back at all that transpired in the years since — I put effort into everything but my dream. Is it too late? Have a missed the opportunity, or am I just getting started? Am I too old to pursue this life-long ambition? I don’t have answers, but I carry on in hope.
Since that courageous day, I have acquired wisdom in areas I never thought I’d touch. My one-dimensional niche, childhood sexual abuse, and mental illness have expanded. Journeying through marriage, parenting, addiction, suicide, grandchildren, and other areas proved adventurous.
I look back, and a wasted dream comes to mind. However, what if God’s perfect timing was after I endured the crazy bumps of life. Every piece of my story speaks to the strength and power of my Savior. This more mature version of me recognizes the growth and broadening woman I am today.
Inspiration comes from within.
He took a broken mind and healed it, but didn’t stop there. Healing compels us toward strengthening, and it is no different in the brain. Bolstering my reasoning and response to life, God gave me the tools to overcome my bipolar battle. He took a fractured mind and taught me how to commit to Him in thought, feeling, and action.
With the wisdom I’m gifted, my awareness has evolved on deeper levels. My heart beats for Jesus, and my statement points to Him. Sharing this extraordinary love story is no longer about abuse, mental illness, or anything else. It is about God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness, compassion, and love in all these elements.
My dream, never wasted, thrives today, and I am not too old. God refines us, and there is no time limit on His work. I trust that He is working on me in mysterious ways. I have to trust the process. Character is forged over time through the fiery purification in trials. He broke me, and lovingly placed me in the furnace to face the heat, the impurities melted away. When I believed I could not withstand the heat, He turned it up. Again and again, the fires reveal the impurities, and God eliminates them. This process is endless. It continues until His reflection shines in every part of me.
It took half my life to comprehend. I couldn’t appreciate the trials until I understood the refinement method. It is a delicate love with bold intentions. While I cry for it to end so I can have my life, He soothes me and says, “This is your life.”
The dream lives.