The time has arrived. After near 28 years, I never thought it would happen. Christmas is around the corner, and my husband and I are about to experience our first morning with no one else in the house. My ‘baby’ bought his own ticket to go to Wisconsin to visit his grandparents, brother, aunts and uncles for the holiday. This a whole lot of different.
I was a very young teenager when I had my first child. We grew up together. Therefore, the last time I was without a child on Christmas morning, I was a child myself. I know this is a different scenario than most Christian households, but it was what it was. I did not know Jesus back then, and life is different. My life has certainly changed.
What will my morning be like? Will my husband and I look at each other and have no clue what to say or do? We have made reservations for Christmas dinner. This was not an easy decision for me. It feels very different to eat out. We will visit the other kids and grandkids sometime during the day, and the rest will be ours. I can confirm an odd tension in my heart, and a sadness that feels unfamiliar.
Life goes on, and it will look different. I knew this time was coming, I have written about it for a couple years now. As a mother who was so deeply involved there has been grief for losing the woman and mother I was once. I have had to say goodbye to the part of me that felt necessary. It has been a struggle. I never thought I had issues with change, until things became..well.. different.
As life moves forward, we have no choice to move forward with it. I humbly receive His blessing of comfort through the journey. To provide words of wisdom and hope, and to fill me where emptiness creeps in. He remains my light, and my strength. The Lord knows how to help us through from the routine we know, to the different routine we are learning.