First, I was tired, a feeling many can relate to, signaling the start of a change. Then the tiredness went away, and I moved beyond a point I recognized until I lost sight of the familiar and known areas of my life. Entering the bubble was easy. I found space, quiet, and a cushy retreat from the boiling pressures of life.
Altering life is the unintentional effect of addiction on the entire family, showing how loved ones are affected. People battling substance use disconnect from reality. After years of trying to solve a dependence I never controlled, I unplugged from myself.
That is when the coping mechanism of silence and distance began. My mind lost its grip. I held firmly to measured details and plans. My days were busy but consistent. I loved the routine. As my everyday order collapsed, pulling away felt safer.
As addiction took hold, routines failed to exist, and chaos replaced order. In the madness of intrusive addiction behavior, I collapsed. Year after year, the plagues of turmoil swept over routines like a tsunami, overwhelming everything I knew.
From one crisis to another, I moved as a robot. There were no tears. My only emotion was anger. With each passing day, the exasperation was my fuel. Emptied by evil, I managed to breathe and move for those I loved. Pretending they didn’t notice, I continued to focus on my family’s well-being.
The assault of addiction is a painful journey that never ends. Choice is the dominant factor, not to use, but to recover. Recovering from substance use is a process of change in multiple areas. The goal is to improve your well-being and quality of life through abstinence. People choose every day to change their lives and live free.
Reconciling Addiction and Faith
As Christians, we believe our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit. God crafted each of us with intention, and we should treat our bodies with the utmost respect and care. His Word directs us to honor Him through honoring our bodies.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20-“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
Mindset is a powerful theme in the Bible, shaping how we live, think, and respond to life’s challenges. God’s Word embraces mental health and encourages deliberate attention to our minds.
Romans 12:2 ā “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will isāhis good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Like all sin, addiction separates us from God. You cannot live in the depths of chasing drugs and alcohol while still walking in His purpose and plan. You cannot be addicted to saving your loved one, either. Eventually, your drive to eradicate their addiction will separate you from God. The focus shifts to fear and helplessness. You cannot avoid the gradual decline in mental and physical health.
Weighed down by burden, I felt the world shrink around me. The heart palpitations cried out for release. Stress took hold of my body with pain and fatigue. My thoughts gathered around a bonfire of worst-case scenarios and fears of finality. Day by day, the world of faith and addiction would collide. I fought God’s call to surrender while simultaneously fighting addiction’s call to die. My strength would soon fail, taking my health with it.
With no answers, I began to travel through time. Visiting places named guilt, sadness, fear, and regret. Addiction fosters destruction in any environment. Left with a sense of abandonment, families toggle between hope and hopelessness. Canyons form between loved ones following betrayal and deceit. Lies are the only words between them.
Along my journey, I also visited places called shame, sorrow, and grief. The heavy burden of loss was suffocating. I struggled to connect the love I once knew with the anger I now endured. I found myself needing to justify my emotions, while others didn’t understand why. The broken state of confusion permeated through me like fire.
The resiliency of my faith has brought me through the survival of their addiction. The very moment I said ‘enough’ would open the way to health and healing. As I reestablish connections with God, myself, and my family, I smile in the valley of peace, rest in the shelter of hope, and dance in the land of freedom.
I no longer fear my temporary emotions. When I revisit the places I dread most, God promptly reminds me why I left. He is careful to guide me through with promise, mercy, forgiveness, and love. He reiterates the consequences of actions. Holding me to a standard of truth defined by His will, not my own. He reminds me that I am loved beyond measure, approved by my Father, accepted, and empowered. He is the light in the darkness of addiction.
I may never fully understand the road that brought me back. I remain thankful to Jesus for standing by me when I chose the bubble of separation. It was in that retreat that I found my sanctuary, not in sitting alone, but in being surrounded by His presence.
No matter where you find yourself, there is hope. There is no greater gift than that of our Savior. No greater love than that of the Father. Through His Mighty ways, we are rescued into His victory. He allows us the space to grieve without the guilt and to survive without regret. His only request is to live fully, love humbly, and march valiantly for His Kingdom. To God be the Glory forever, ever.
Authentic Truths 