Can you ever forget? .."Living with a loved one in addiction is consuming. You won't forget the violent outbursts. The terrifying image of your kid slumped over and passed out from shooting up, or binge drinking stays forever. All the days you worried if they were alive in the next room haunt you."..
A talk about the real challenge of staying hopeful against the raw reality of family addiction.
I hoped my words would change your thoughts. If I could convince you of your potential, ability, strength, and power, then you would embrace your worth and value. I thought if I spoke it to you loud and long enough, you would believe and find your confidence again.
The National Survey on Drug Use and Health shows that over 8.3 million children under the age of 18 live in a household where at least one parent is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Another blindfold melts away. For all I can see, there are still layers to go. In my hurting heart, it feels bigger than my mind can grasp. I didn't fail my children, but I cannot lie, my church is hard truth statement is dark.
It took months to achieve peace in the warzone of substance use. I asked God for peace in the early months of 2021, and today, I live in unity with my Heavenly Father. I no longer reside in the center of chaos.
After a decade, I have awakened to the true meaning of letting go and allowing God to work. He shows my loved one his tender mercy daily, wrapping her safety in the deadliest scenarios. It is evident to everyone but her. He loves us with a powerful love that seems foreign and unattainable. Yet, there she is-alive and healing.
The Holy Spirit reminds me it is always with me. Refueled with the expectation of comfort through the trials, I refocus on what matters in life. I remember what I can control and rely on- the love of my Father and the expectation of eternity with him.
Months ago, I pulled up to the parking garage where the car was left behind. I walked to every business in the vicinity, asking if anyone saw my daughter. I begged to look at outdoor cameras. Being denied without a warrant was frustrating. Finally, the police reviewed one camera, and from what they saw, began a missing person report.
If you have not parented through substance use, you can't understand. However, you might get it if you experience strongholds, anger, doubt, fear, and loneliness. If you ever spent time trying to outdo God in a life meant for surrender, then you can understand a piece of the trauma in addiction.