I hoped my words would change your thoughts. If I could convince you of your potential, ability, strength, and power, then you would embrace your worth and value. I thought if I spoke it to you loud and long enough, you would believe and find your confidence again.
The National Survey on Drug Use and Health shows that over 8.3 million children under the age of 18 live in a household where at least one parent is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Another blindfold melts away. For all I can see, there are still layers to go. In my hurting heart, it feels bigger than my mind can grasp. I didn't fail my children, but I cannot lie, my church is hard truth statement is dark.
One day, I will go home.
After a decade, I have awakened to the true meaning of letting go and allowing God to work. He shows my loved one his tender mercy daily, wrapping her safety in the deadliest scenarios. It is evident to everyone but her. He loves us with a powerful love that seems foreign and unattainable. Yet, there she is-alive and healing.
Months ago, I pulled up to the parking garage where the car was left behind. I walked to every business in the vicinity, asking if anyone saw my daughter. I begged to look at outdoor cameras. Being denied without a warrant was frustrating. Finally, the police reviewed one camera, and from what they saw, began a missing person report.
If you have not parented through substance use, you can't understand. However, you might get it if you experience strongholds, anger, doubt, fear, and loneliness. If you ever spent time trying to outdo God in a life meant for surrender, then you can understand a piece of the trauma in addiction.
begin to make plans for their future, I wonder why my kids never believed they should do the same. We are told not to ask, but I can't let go of the questions, "What did I do wrong?.. Could I have done more to help them?.. Didn't I teach them confidence?" I could go on. What happened here?
I am filled day and night with a fear I cannot shake. People die every day from one last high. We saw that in December. Living in this fear is trying.
"You run from Jesus, and the world attacks you mercilessly. You run toward Jesus, and the world attacks you, but you are loved through mercy, forgiveness, and grace. Either direction we go, the world is there, but one direction is peace, the other chaos. Choose wisely."