Mental Health Monday! Concurring Shame

Welcome to Mental Health Monday!

Part of our challenge as parents with loved ones in addiction is the struggle with our own mental wellness. After only a few months of watching addiction ravage your child, the pain can be life altering.

I know- I’ve been there. It was after TEN years, I said enough. Quite honestly, I didn’t know how bad it had gotten. I wasn’t connecting the two.

Stress is powerful.

My physical health suffered as a direct result of my emotional and mental collapse. I was sick. I dealt with blood pressure issues, migraines, stomach problems, aches and pains- all from fear and anxiety associated with an addiction I never had.

So, starting today, I will bring awareness to caring for your mental health whether you are a parent or loved one one of someone in addiction, or someone confronting mental illness.
Every Monday- let’s chat! Tell me how you are and how you’re feeling when it comes to this topic.

Today- SHAME!

As though we don’t heap it on ourselves, there’s a portion of society out there who don’t understand the condition of addiction, and falsely puts the blame on family, mostly parents. They use words like:

“I’ve enabled.”
“You can’t do this or that.”
“You need to do this not that.”

Creating this false sense that we are doing everything wrong! When in fact, we are doing the best we can. I hear their misinformed, lack of awareness, never stepped a foot in this journey opinion often- but that’s ALL it is. Contrary to popular belief in 2022- YOUR OPINION DOESN’T MAKE YOU THE AUTHORITY OR CLOSE TO CORRECT.

I challenge you today to release the nonsense. To allow the ignorant bliss of outsiders to this situation flow outside of your bubble. You have to be determined, right now, to not let their cruel words, even if well intentioned, increase your shame.

Then, you have to let go of feeling shame within. Release all you pile on yourself for the mistakes your child makes. Every parent knows there are things we could have done differently in raising our kids. Confess that to yourself and the Lord, ask forgiveness, and forgive yourself! Then, let it go. My final words to my daughter on this subject were:

“I’m very sorry for anything I did that hurt you, caused you to doubt yourself, or assisted in your addiction. I am done with the shame and guilt. I will not hear about my choices or mistakes in the past again.” ..and I never have.

I no longer dwell on what I did wrong or should have done better. It can’t be changed or fixed now. All I can do is focus on improving myself every day going forward. I refuse to be held hostage by something that happened 25 years ago!

Today, I challenge you to release the chains of shame. To step out of that dark place. Hold your head high, take back this piece to your wellness and never allow anyone to put you in emotional shaming prison again- including yourself!

Have a blessed day! ♥️ Lisa