This battle eats at your core and terrorizes your mind. If left unchecked, you become a victim of their war.
I never intended to lose myself as I found myself, but I believe that's what happened. I gained insight into one part of me while losing the other.
Time would heal my wounds, and courage would eventually merge the pieces of my soul. Before God was my everything, I was a floating vessel in search of solid ground.
A few words on grief and loss.
I follow a few social media style support networks for Christians with depression, and it baffles me that in 2020 we still hear the misguided answer that the devil is living in us through this mental illness. Allow me to correct this with calm words on a screen, as in person, it may get heated.
This is the seesaw of bipolar, the ups and downs of a bipolar mind. We fight to carry on. Some days consist of fighting deep, dark thoughts. Other days, our strength lead the way through chaos..
Depression is hard, but we keep trying.
Where the run meets the end. A poem of survival.
The slow unpacking of a broken soul. Where the beat of a heart doesn't indicate life, but a life undone. When hopelessness is no longer a thought or feeling, but a destination.
My identity no longer lingers in the shadows of a victim or mentally ill and broken. What Satan hoped to imprison for life was surrendered and set free years ago by the blood of Jesus Christ.