Peace is something I cherish. Peace within my home, office, day, heart, and mind. I embrace what it takes to achieve a calm and harmonious spirit, though I cannot always control what goes on around me. Crippled by outer confrontation, the last decade proved a challenge in obtaining peace.
As I walk through 2022, an intentional effort is being made to guard against the issues that deny me rest and renewal. Distance from people has played a role. While it hurts my heart to set boundaries, it is necessary. The pull of discord and distress from certain situations disrupts my efforts to maintain a peaceful external and internal environment. I lived many years believing I had to satisfy others’ needs over my own. Why? They were not handling their personal needs.
I chose to awaken from the trance of parenting in limbo. There is a plane of uncertainty when adults fail to be adults. We hear jokes about this, “I don’t want to adult today.” “Adulting sucks.”
But, it is no joke for those lost in the process of growing up due to addiction or mental wellness crises. I witnessed protests about growing up and accepting the responsibilities of adulthood, and I watched the about-face. Lives displaced and terrorized by the sudden abandonment of a person who can’t face their future self. While others laugh at the adulting oddity in society, I cringe. I am left to fill in the empty spaces where others should be.
I never thought I would confront life in limbo, let alone parenting. Yet, here I am. I spent too many years grasping for reason in an unreasonable situation.
In 2022, I awaken! I see clearly and without the fog and frustration of feeling held back and forgotten. I am still me-I boldly declare my truth without hesitation. I am a Christian woman, a beloved child of God. Nothing anyone does out there will change my title. I am free, no longer held back in the foray of bad decisions and wrong choices.
How does one survive the war? They never engage in the battle. Step away from the friction and choose to be separate and live. Work through the negative by overwhelming every situation with positive. It isn’t easy and it takes dedication.
As I awaken in 2022, I realize how darkened my vision had become. I choose to see the beauty, hope, and promise of every new day. I vow to be present. Life is a gift. I don’t plan to treat it like wrapping paper, something we crumble and toss away. Rather, I will embrace every precious moment in awe and gratitude.