Addiction Sucks- When the Road Leads Home

Five years.

That is the time we’ve spent in heartbreak watching addiction ravage lives. From drunken rage to passed out days, and hidden truths, we bear witness to it all. Tonight, the saga continues.

I hope for a final chapter to the alcohol-driven storyline.

Perhaps in a small way, we’ve moved into a new segment of this journey. With one piece behind us, unfortunately, a new one begins- the consequences.

With the rage came assault. Following assault came charges, and the final court decision is looming. We know terms like felony and misdemeanor, jail or halfway house, violation of probation, and guardianship. Yet, tonight is a different problem.

On this night, we heard, “He’s being released from jail. We are notifying you for your safety.”

Drugs and liquor don’t only change the mental capacity of a person; they change the heart. A reminder of how closely linked they are, the mind and heart. People do crazy things under the influence, such as attack their mother or brother, or run barefoot down a street screaming and throwing trash cans at grandmothers. They create jealousy and anger and abuse. Substance abuse doesn’t care if children are in the home, and loses all sense of wrong or right. But tonight we know that if the threat of violence lies in one’s heart, it is escalated by drugs, not created by them.

So, we locked every door, windows are latched, and alarms set. Threats, taken seriously, will disrupt sleep.

The final consequence was one addict falling for another addict and every false word he said. It was thinking that his overly protective behavior was out of love and not an obsession. It was allowing him to manipulate and control her every move, and fall prey to intentional control tactics. He whispered fear into her soul, and she released her strength and power to the unknown. Left vulnerable and desperate, he locked her in with more drugs and erected the prison bars.

Her first prison break was two months ago when she left him. But not before the bruises and pain. She knocked more bars down the day she made the police report, and again with the arrest. The next steps will continue to grow her courage and empower her toward freedom. She just needs to stay strong along the way.

She doesn’t realize how tough she is yet, but she will. The slow reveal is paced by internal growth and wisdom. She has accomplished much in a short time, but may not even know it yet. Time will walk her through, and so will I.

If I learned anything in the last five years, it is that we are always learning, always growing, and ever-evolving into something better. I am proud of her for stepping into a new hope, one that will lift and move her forward. We all deserve a new beginning; but we have to be willing to let go of the past to get there.

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