Bipolar Life- The Journal, #37

<unedited, authentic>

I was reading a book today while I sat and enjoyed the outdoors. In it was a story of a couple who began praying for their son before he was born, and also for his future wife. I thought it very sweet and loving. Then, as though struck by a bolt of lightening, I thought,

“No one prayed for me before I was born.”

The sadness hit a nerve so I sat my book down. I laid my awesome reclining lounge chair back, and looked at the sky. I repeated the thought to myself and looked at the clouds. Right above me a heart was perfectly formed. It looked like God himself blew it just for me, and with a blink it disappeared.

I asked out loud for the fish, birds, and spiders to hear, “Did anyone pray for me before I was born?” No answer. Someone may have said a prayer for me, but who knows. The thought was depressing and has bothered me all day.

After receiving no divine verbal answer from a fish, but a heart from a cloud, I looked up to spot my husband on the lake. He was tooling around in his kayak. It wasn’t a big lake, but it’s big enough to blur he and his little boat all the way on the other side. I had to really focus to find the dot he had become. After getting eyes on him, I heard God say, “I’m always here, even when you can’t see me. Just like you know your husband is on the lake, I am here with you. Some days you have to really focus on me, to find me.”

It was a perfect moment between God and I. I am left wondering about that heart. I feel the ‘I love you’ message was too simple.. I am convinced there is something else there. However, the dot on a lake was loud and clear.

I could be crazy. The heart could be nothing. But I feel a stirring that says it was more. Time will tell.

Surely, I am not the only one who believes God communicates with me in super natural ways? Others experience these God moments, right? (thinking burning bush). Have you received a message from God in a mysterious way? Tell me about it, please!