<unedite, authentic> (simply sharing from my Facebook account @1BipolarLife)
Your preconceived idea that bipolar is one dimensional (crazy) is wrong. Let me tell you why.
I have lived with bipolar disorder for over half my life.
When I say lived, I mean lived!
I have a full time job, a husband, four children, and two dogs.
I am often labeled as peaceful, inspiring, calm, loving, caring, kind, and friendly. (I love those labels!)
I live filled with joy. That joy carries me through my down times. (Those times I am depressed, or just not ok)
I struggle, just like you. I deal with anger, disappointment, sadness, and every other emotion you can think of.
The difference for me, within hours I may experience the very opposite of whatever I was experiencing earlier. If I am depressive, I may be the opposite that evening.
The opposite is what they call manic. This is the part that appears happy, energetic, motivated, confident, and indestructible.
Personally, mania takes more out of me than the depressive episodes. I learned these parts of my mind so I can manage my mania without having to declare bankruptcy! True story! Mania can be dangerous when diagnosed with bipolar. So I take it very serious.
To be honest, I see some people think this way about themself and abilities every day. They carry no label, they are just accepted as wild and fun, courageous and outgoing.
Contrary to what you’ve heard, I don’t sit around considering suicide every day, or hurting ‘anyone’ for that matter. To be honest, I find mental comfort in caring for others, listening to others, and loving on others. I also love caring for animals.
Some days you will find me secluded in my house, silent.
This is ok.
We all enjoy a break every now and then. Who doesn’t? That break isn’t always about bipolar actually. It’s just down time. Sometimes, it is about bipolar, but there’s nothing wrong with a time out.
Some days are rough.
I think deep, I feel deeper.
Things of this world press into my soul with darkness. I struggle to find my smile, to move. I allow myself the time to heal through such days. Just like you do. And just like you, I keep going.
I fight to regain my soul and to allow the joy to shine through the darkness. Because the beauty is always there, I just have to release it.
For some, the darkness might overwhelm, inpatient care may be necessary. This is ok. Many illnesses require inpatient hospital care.
You may have diabetes, or cancer, or the flu- aka, being sick. People with bipolar might have those things too, and they have bipolar to add to that list- they are sick. The brain isn’t functioning correctly; you know, like insulin doesn’t function correctly, or cells grow to quickly causing tumors. The brain is part of the body too, and it can have troubles, just like your heart, liver, or kidneys.
The thing about bipolar, we don’t want to share we have it. You look at us with wide eyes. You walk on invisible egg shells. You are fearful of us, afraid we are going to ‘go crazy’ and you might have to be there for that.
The truth is, if you are in our life, you might see us in those ups and downs. You might think it is too much. I understand. Many people disappear when our friends get sick with cancer, too.
Sometimes, it’s easier to love from afar. We accept that. Even when it hurts.
But we bounce back and strive to keep going. We face our obstacles head on and find an odd freedom in the chaos of our mind.
We can’t escape our brain, so we work very hard to live with what we’ve been handed.
Medication may be necessary, and it may take many trials to find the medication, or combination of medications, that work for us. While we are going through one trial after another, we may be difficult. That’s ok, we know it’s not easy for you. We appreciate your thoughts, prayers, and care through those times. You know, just like those with other ailments appreciate you!
I have bipolar disorder, and I am LIVING proof of what a fighter and a survivor looks like. I am not who you think I am, I am way better. I am not a label, I am a human being with an illness.
Please accept mental illness for what it is- an illness that affects us mentally.
-Lisa @1BipolarLife
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