You will not typically see words like this on my page. I am not one to say things this way. However, in being authentic, and needing to write, I am saying it like it is in this moment.
In the last month, I have lost two people, who have influenced my life, to cancer. One I have known near 24 years, another I have known for only two. Yet, both hurt the same.
I have now prayed a sweet good bye, said all the thanks I wanted to say, and shed tears because, darn it, it hurts. Now here I sit understanding and not understanding.
One friend was diagnosed 11 months ago, one diagnosed almost 11 weeks ago- one man, one woman, two different types of cancer, from two different areas of the state.
Cancer does not discriminate. It is quite inclusive. It comes fast, or goes slow. It can claim one organ, or many. Cancer sucks.
I know my friends are in true peace, having experienced their first encounter with Jesus. They are pain free; with renewed energy, and singing with the angels. They are home, where they belong.
Here I sit. I miss her face, her voice, her smile, and her visits.
I miss the comfort of knowing he was there, and he loved me. Yes, me. He was one part of this family that took me in and showed me something amazing – unconditional love.
Cancer begins with one small cell, and changes entire lives. Left behind to grieve, we weep. In that grief are brief periods of peace, for their discomfort is no more. Within those brief periods is also pain, their presence is no more.
We may be lost in emotion, but we are found hopeful and rejoicing. Where they are is now our longing, but until then, we keep living.
I am blessed by their friendship.
I am blessed by their love.
I am blessed by their life.