There’s a bit of exhaustion that has settled deep into my heart. The challenges of parenting have taken their toll, and I can physically feel the pressure. The burden of the invisible weights I carry has led me to a point of surrender, and so, here I am.
Still, with all the clutter and chaos in my mind, the ‘what if’s’, the ‘if only’s’.. I don’t get a pass. This is no game show, and there is no magic button to halt the journey.
We, as parents, don’t get a pass, a do over, or a life line. We are here, in the midst of not only our life and choices, but their life and their choices, whether or not we accepted the invitation, or signed on the dotted line of less than stellar decision making.
No pass. I can’t stand up as the bystander and holler out, “No thank you, I pass!”
I can’t politely shake my head, smile sweetly, and shrug it off with an, “I pass, thank you though.”
Nope. Here we are. We are parents, and we remain right smack dab in the muck (or possibly a beautiful blue ocean-depending on the choice) of their choices until, at the minimum, 18 years old.
Then, once that mark comes and goes, we still have emotional investments in what these precious gifts choose to do. We are never free.
We can make some choices of our own I guess. We can choose to rely on God more than our own wisdom and experience.
We can choose to pray more than we lecture.
We can choose to hug instead of strangle. (just kidding of course)
We can choose to shout the words, “I love you” rather than “Are you kidding me?” (again)
But we can’t pass. We can’t give up. We can’t stop caring. We can’t stop being a mom or a dad, no matter what disaster has come.
Let me tell you, grown up consequences hurt your heart. Still, there is no pass for the pain.
For those of us struggling through the teen years, on into early adulthood, as parents, may we all press in to Jesus Christ, and be held in his embrace. May we find peace in the Word, peace through the comfort of our Father, who also chose….. to not pass.
(this post was written as part of the flash mob, Five Minute Friday)