If today is the 341st day of your depression and you struggle to move, then sit in gratitude you woke up today.
We walk along the bottom Looking up from where we are Up seems so distant Somewhere among the stars
I look back at what I have shared here and I know I have been authentic. The problem is that I hold back. I only realized that after watching some of the videos today. Tonight, I sit alone and wonder why. This passive behavior has plagued me my whole life.
As I continue to practice obedience and accept discipline as it comes, I challenge myself to give thanks. For the record, giving thanks takes practice at times.
One word in the Bible repeatedly shouts at me, and the repetitive reminder requires us to both be active and to stop and listen, all in one word: perseverance- doing something despite difficulty and delay in achieving success.
The barrier I struggled to face was not about the abuse, the abuser, or anything really related to those many years of torture. The barrier was one I erected, one I had to be willing to confront and to tear down- one block at a time- it was- “Jesus, why did you leave me?”
When you chose Christ, you chose the Spirit to live within you, bringing us through our pain and circumstances into a complete forgiveness- repeatedly. That same forgiveness God pours out for us we are now able to pour out to others.
The art of excuse probably mimics a paid profession at times. Our lives are not our own. People say this, but they are not living it.
Every day I woke up, I chose to smile again, to feel again, and to love again. When the moments were too hard to bare, I ran forward and jumped into His arm, and when facing God in my broken mental state was too difficult, I simply let go, and fell back without sight, and without fear, and gently placed myself in his loving hands.