Bipolar Life-The Journal #33

I look back at what I have shared here and I know I have been authentic. The problem is that I hold back. I only realized that after watching some of the videos today. Tonight, I sit alone and wonder why. This passive behavior has plagued me my whole life.

Authentic Truths- Beyond the Door

The barrier I struggled to face was not about the abuse, the abuser, or anything really related to those many years of torture. The barrier was one I erected, one I had to be willing to confront and to tear down- one block at a time- it was- β€œJesus, why did you leave me?”

Authentic Truths- Blind Trust

Every day I woke up, I chose to smile again, to feel again, and to love again. When the moments were too hard to bare, I ran forward and jumped into His arm, and when facing God in my broken mental state was too difficult, I simply let go, and fell back without sight, and without fear, and gently placed myself in his loving hands.