This battle eats at your core and terrorizes your mind. If left unchecked, you become a victim of their war.
Addiction is a lethal whirlwind- long before the heart stops, the individual disappears.
There was relief In the final sigh.. When surrender felt Like breath of life..
How do we love those who not only appear unlovable in their mess but also hate us in it, as well? I had dodged fists and verbal attacks, put up bail money (only once), picked up my grand-kids from a ravaged house with a passed out mom, and cleaned out more hidden empty bottles than I can count. Still, the pain I felt when the handcuffs went on killed me. The hopelessness was burning through my soul the way Satan enjoys.
Today, I admitted something out loud-I am exhausted. The tug on my heart is more than I can bear. To withstand more of the same is beyond my ability.
Pain in addiction.
Wherever I hide, my feelings find me. I am struggling with this at the time.