I’m not there in today’s madness.
My heart aches knowing you feel alone.
But yesterday was filled with addiction sadness,
So I walked away from knowing the unknown.
You feel abandoned to darkened streets,
Where you alone ran to be.
You feel discarded, but I’m not sure how.
When you left us here, you disappeared,
Not once or twice, but over and over somehow.
You never looked back as you trampled sanity,
For insanity in the violent need to use.
Still, you say it’s me who abandoned you.
Stillness left a desperate need,
To search and seek you privately.
In places shattered in homeless hell,
And breathing bodies hidden in garages,
And all I saw were distant mirages..
Hoping there I’d see you.
Endless hours seeking peace
Not wanting truth to be true.
You eliminated the stepping stones
Carved the trenches all alone.
Here we sit as one.
Abandoned by addictions greed,
Because drugs and alcohol fought to succeed.
You left long before I walked out,
Of addictions spiral and evils shout
To “come and die for me.”
Rejected by shadows,
You chose over me,
Lost between choice and debilitating disease.
I sit. I wait. I long for who you were.
My love, my breath, my beautiful daughter.
But I won’t be held by guilt and shame.
For I never left you this way.
You walked the wider road
and left all you knew behind.
All for nothing but to you it’s something,
Just one more,
I’ve got to have it,