I thought, or hoped, that addiction would be a healed topic. I was wrong. It’s not healed, it was hidden. My naive eyes refused to see and my naive mind refused to comprehend. This battle is not over, it has just begun. For a battle that doesn’t apply to me, I feel the weight of the armor. Do I have the stamina for this battle? Time will tell. Is there a willingness in my spirit to get up one more time? I remain skeptical.Yesterday, I felt peace and hope. Today, I feel lost and confused. For now, prayer is my only offense and defense. If God says get up, I will. I will choose to listen to his mighty voice and distinct comfort. His presence is my refuge. There is peace in that.
The unknown lies ahead.
Therefore, I draw a blank for answers. The game is played forward while always looking backward. Those pieces exist and hold the truth. They never disappear. There is a desire to force them to evaporate, but that’s not how the game works. We carry the wretched past with us. The changing play is whether we choose new pieces or keep playing the old. I am exhausted from the replay. May tomorrow bring a fresh start and the onset of a changed game.For the record, I hate alcohol and I hate drugs. I hate addiction.