I have followed him for a couple years now. He rose as a well-known, Bible-speaking, truth-screamin’, people-lovin’ man of God. Clayton Jennings gives us real life in the rawest form, and his messages speak to the deepest and most secret places of our soul. Where we are afraid to release, he is fearless in releasing. I admire him most for his outspoken fight for those battling mental health issues. If you follow me, you know this is the topic closest to my heart. I recently learned we have one thing in common- Bipolar Disorder.
As alive as we all thought he was through his Spoken Word ministry, the truth revealed otherwise. Clayton broke the barriers and crushed the norm when he responded to the “scandal” others reported. What some called a meltdown; I call more of the truth. What we all do behind closed doors and glass screens, he humbly confessed to the masses. “I’m a sinner.” “I have Bipolar.” “Sex was my vise.” His confession came at us loud and clear.
There are consequences for actions.
I am not here to downplay that. I find it aggravating that thousands turned their back and walked away from a man clearly anointed by God. You of little faith, what message are you sending to those out there criticizing the hypocritical Christians. We raise banners to say “NO PERFECT PEOPLE HERE,” but throw away those sinners, as though we ourselves walk sinless! Who are you to condemn and remove a brother who fell short? How many times did you fall short today? What secrets lie cleverly disguised in the closet of your life? You do not fool me Christian brothers and sisters. By the view of your back, we can see you standing in the criticizing crowds of Moses or David. Both murderers! Both used in a mighty way by God above!
I am no saint. I have sinned, doubted, fought, and cried out against my God. I have gone months in depression and the only thing I could say to the One who saved me, “I still believe.” Those words carried me in my darkest hours. Days when I longed for a gun in my hand, I repeated the simple three-word prayer, repeatedly. I wondered if other believers would understand the pit of depression as those who live it. After watching the exodus of the ministry of Clayton Jennings, I guess not.
We are a troubled world. We teach of this perfect love, acceptance, mercy, forgiveness, and grace, but we are incapable of living in and for what we preach. If they will know we are Christian’s by our love, they will know we are cowards by our spineless retreat from those who need us the most. The example we speak of and the one we actually set are two different things. For the thousands who walked away and attacked a fallen young man, shame on you. You are missing the point of being a Christian.
I do not have a large following. I write for the joy of writing and releasing the inspiration God places in my heart. I may never have the following of someone like Clayton Jennings. That is ok. What he does is a true calling from God above, and I pray that he works through the distress. I pray Mr. Jennings feels the forgiveness and mercy in his spirit, and that as he rises once again, he will feel the love of his fellow brothers and sisters.
You are not special Clayton Jennings, our sins run together in the same race! Our minds falter, our thoughts capture us at times, but we fight. The darkest of the dark is illuminated when we look up. Your battle will come and go forever. In this, you are not unique my friend. You keep doing you. We are out here, understanding you in ways others may not. You are a believing bipolar man. That belief will get you through, beyond the promise. You will share Jesus with wrinkles on your face; your time on this earth is not marked.
-from a friend in the crowd, a Bipolar Woman