Living in the possibilities and pursuing purpose.
Life, reflection, and aging. If mid-life is here, what I am in it?
I feel like I’ve been picked up with the socks and underwear and am floating on a never ending spin cycle! Here I sit watching through the window as life goes on, but I am being slammed against the door as I spin, turning and tumbling through this particular moment in life.
In one night, one moment, the reflection in the mirror was lying. Because while it was my face, my hair, and my body, it was never me.
They may not realize how harsh and insensitive they are, or maybe I don’t realize how sensitive and irrational I am being, but there’s a bit of a conflict in this relationship!
While the many hours of training were meant to train me in the many aspects of Christian caring, they also provided me with much insight and an in depth understanding of myself. It opened doors to accept who I am, challenge myself to be assertive in areas I’ve never been, and to love myself from within.
Every night I thought of the guns, or pills, or even the rafters in the garage. I thought of dying more than I thought of living. Death just seemed easier. It may sound selfish to someone on the outside, it may be, but my will to live was slipping away.
We, as parents, don’t get a pass, a do over, or a life line. We are here, in the midst of not only our life and choices, but their life and their choices, whether or not we accepted the invitation, or signed on the dotted line of less than stellar decision making.
I won’t continue to feel beat up by a past that hurt me, ridiculed me, took advantage of me, shamed me and tossed me away. I will not hold back the gentle truth, no matter how harsh it is. I will not give up on people simply because they choose to give up on me. I will not be that person...
They may not be familiar with the battles they face, but they are familiar with who fights for us in the face of our battles.
Little by little, the lack of passion went unnoticed, and within a few years, when passion no longer became my priority, another new ‘me’ emerged. She wasn’t adorned with fire and thrill. Nope. What I wore looked more like something I’d call ‘content’.
I have to admit, I haven’t studied her in a long time. When I stopped and looked, I see new creases in places that were once smooth, and eyes that look a little saggier. (I won’t mention where else things may be saggy, ha!) My hair has begun to frizz in small sections. I even seem shorter!
Reflections on Life through poetry, essays and photos
Advancing God's Kingdom in the Family System
Maximize Your Happiness, Well-Being, & Life Satisfaction
I'm someone who has always had a deep passion for literature and writing. From a young age, I've been captivated by the power of words and the way they can transport us to different worlds, open our minds to new ideas, and connect us with people and experiences that are distant from our own. Whether it's immersing myself in a classic novel, jotting down my thoughts in a journal, or crafting my own creative stories, writing and literature have always been an essential part of my life. I'm excited to continue exploring this rich and rewarding field, and to share my thoughts and insights with others who share my love for all things literary.
Grace for Today. Hope for Tomorrow.
Creative Writer, Relentless Thinker
"When I am writing, I am trying to find out who I am..." --Maya Angelou
Authentic Truths 