I first considered a time of day. Mornings bring me motivation and energy. That get ‘er done mentality flows well into early afternoon. I rely on routine to carry out the day to day tasks, and am able to fit the out of the blue assignments into a well scheduled morning. Yet, when everyone is fast asleep, I manage to really get things done. I fall asleep with a feeling of being productive. I know I can wake up without cringing at what’s ahead.
Then, I considered what accomplishments help me feel most productive? The quiet moment I complete a long sought after goal fills me with pride. Working to accomplish a personal objective and placing that final touch is what makes me feel most productive. My time is limited, so putting the cherry atop a sweet success is a blessing.
Yet, it’s the small chores I complete that bring a sense of purpose and remind me I’m necessary. Those mom things we do that perhaps go unnoticed. My husband can build me a whole new room. His work is colorful and screams remodel. Everyone will notice and he’ll definitely show off his creation like a long awaited exhibit being revealed for the first time.
I cleaned a closet out this weekend. No one opened the door and said, “Wow. Look what you did.” There are no pats on the back to remind me how skilled I am. No reminders telling me how useful I am and how my talents contribute to anything. It’s silence.
I don’t need a pat on the back or accolades for my skills. I’d like to think I don’t need a single sign of appreciation. But that would be a lie. History tells me being unnoticed and unappreciated will haunt my inner peace until I explode with childish tantrums. I can hear myself now, “You don’t recognize a thing I do.”
Married life has altered me in ways I never imagined. Parenting has pushed me far away from dreams and desires. Most grandparents raising grandkids lose hope of following their unique path to destiny. We thought our time would come when the kids moved out, but in our case, that small piece never happens. The road goes on and on.
I’d love to be productive in achieving my deepest personal goals. For now, I relish the early morning and late night wondering I do around the house. From cleaning the kitchen to doing one more load of laundry. I’m starting to think it will never be done. I will hold on to feeling productive in managing my desk and my home to the best of my ability.
Whether noticed or not, I can be thankful that it gets done. I will appreciate the hours I spend being and feeling productive.