WordPress Writing Prompt

Do you need a break? From what?

Do I need a break? What a loaded question.

I long for a break. From what? Stress. Pain. Sadness? Could it be life itself?

For a decade, I have watched addiction ravage my children’s lives. Yes, as in more than one. They chased a high, and I chased them. Then, at times, I stopped running. The fear ripped through me like a knife. I longed to save each one. However, being a savior is not my job.

So, do I need a break? Yes. I desire to be free from guilt, shame, and fear. I wonder daily if my child is dead or alive. A break from the agony would be a delight. Instead, tormenting worry steals my sleep. Stress robs my health. And fear plagues my mind.

A fracture in the steady rhythm is welcomed. How do you convince a broken soul to seek help? You don’t. There are no words. I know because I shared them all.

Still, in the darkness, I hold onto the light. I clutch the hope like a life raft. It is what’s left when all else fails. The beating sound of a mother’s heart is all that’s heard. We can be thankful it marches on. But, I promise, there are moments she wishes it stopped.

A short gap in the chaos would be a gift. A quiet space alone sounds inviting. A point to feel regular and free. Not the mother who failed, the grandmother raising grandkids, or the wife with no answers. I want to just be.

I am more than my sorrow. Living beyond grief is my goal. If I could take a break, I’d live free. If only for a few days.

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