Bottles deep in endless drink
Recycled empty words.
Broken promises the innocent don’t deserve.
I wanted to fill the space
With a soft and safe embrace.
A rock for all I’d be.
But over and over
Crushed by sad retreat
I learned, it couldn’t be me.
It couldn’t be my endless words
Meant to lift and rise.
It couldn’t be my emotional pleas
Spoken with tear-filled eyes.
It couldn’t be a helpful hand,
Or tired arms carrying a tired soul.
It couldn’t be holding on
To one who chose to let go.
Desperate hope could not win.
Useless, I failed.
It takes you to begin.
And leave addiction’s hell.
All I did or did not do
In attempt to save
Was useless against addictions destination
Of hospital, jail, or grave.
Truth appeared in mysterious fears
That haunted my heart to see.
And through this unmapped painful place
I break. Knowing it can’t be me.
I can’t call upon the wind
To stop the storm
That rips the seams away
My words can’t change one’s own will
Or stop the inner rage.
I can’t force love
In overwhelming hate.
I can’t be more when I am less
And here I cannot stay.
But I’ll sit in solitude,
Pray for what can be.
But know what I know,
No matter what, it can’t be me.
Lisa @ Authentic Truths 