Bipolar Life-The Journal #72, Getting Through a Pandemic

A Temporary New Normal

I have now been working from home for over six weeks. However, I manage a church, so half my workload is now non-existent. I spent the first two weeks very sick, the next two weeks angry I was home, and the last two weeks peaceful about being in isolation. I have cycled through this change like a champ.

I am now a full-time chef, full-time housekeeper, full-time teacher, and several other titles best left to others (especially teacher).

I have only emerged from my home this week with short walks. Recovery from respiratory illnesses takes some time. However, I was self-isolating more than caring for recovery. I struggled mentally (read about that here-..”Abuse Remembers”) and barely moved from my safe spot on the couch.

When I come to the end of one of these episodes, I usually regret the time wasted. This is not the case today. As we digest the unfamiliar territory of life in a world-wide pandemic, I believe we all need this time.

Lost in Unknowns

Information overload began weeks ago. Bombarded with changing data and uncertainty, models, and projections have been overwhelming. Then to have a whole new set of models and data spewed on us was frustrating. The experts disagree, the politicians disagree, local and state municipalities disagree, and we are stuck in the middle.

My brain works easier with defined processes and outcomes. The unknown, in this case, is a hard pill to swallow. Working over the last two weeks to focus on what I do know took some will power. I know I am healthier than a month ago. I know I still have a job, I know I have my home, food, and bills paid. I know all of this will one day end. I had to release the fear of not knowing when.

My heart extends to those who may not have all those answers. Many have lost jobs with no pay, and unemployment is a slow process. People have lost loved ones, creating a different set of emotions and feelings. We are all in this shuffling of life together.