A talk about the real challenge of staying hopeful against the raw reality of family addiction.
Months ago, I pulled up to the parking garage where the car was left behind. I walked to every business in the vicinity, asking if anyone saw my daughter. I begged to look at outdoor cameras. Being denied without a warrant was frustrating. Finally, the police reviewed one camera, and from what they saw, began a missing person report.
Mental illness is not a sin. What my mind does with it is.
Depression is relentless. We struggle to overcome, and it fights to defeat us. The pursuit of our mind is that of a hunter and it's prey.
In January 2002, I accepted I have a chronic mental illness, and a journey began. I experienced a myriad of emotions at the time, such as anger, disappointment, fear, and a mild case of feeling sorry for myself!
I am sitting peaceful in the calm seas for now, but I remain wrestling in this- I feel nothing. It is a different emptiness. This is not hopelessness, it is hopeful healing, sitting stagnant.